Here are few new pieces that I've been working on. They're all still
"works in progress", so be forgiving, but you'll get the idea.
And, these aren't quite the same "voice" as most of the work on
the rest of the website, but hopefully you'll still enjoy them!
You were in my dreams again last night. Oh how pleasant it is to see you there.
There're not sexual, at least not yet. Though I’m not sure why.
During the day, my dreams of you certainly do tend to turn that way.
But no, in the night
when I’m deep asleep and you visit me,
it’s very sweet.
We talk.
We laugh.
We touch.
Sometimes when we look
into each other’s eyes
the gaze lasts long enough
to communicate what
we both want;
without words
our gaze says what
our bodies desire.
Last night we hugged.
That’s when I awoke.
With my head resting on your
shoulder while hugging you.
It was heavenly.
Until I awoke
and realized it had only been a dream
and that I was still in hell.
always the same
I got a new mistress ever-y-night
sometimes she’s brown,
sometimes she’s white,
but she’s always kind and smooth
and we laugh and we never fight
and all is all right
‘til ‘bout two in the deep night,
then it’s always the same
It’s always the same.
And I guess I’m to blame.
‘cause it’s about that time,
that she crashes and shatters
It’s always the same.
She shatters,
just like dreams
just like hope
Just like fame
She shatters
And it’s about 4 in the mornin’
When the pain is so great
That I think I might die
tonight
Every night.
It’s always the same,
it’s always the same
But by sunset 4,
by then I’m alright
By then I’ve got a new mistress
sometimes she’s brown,
sometimes she’s white
but she’s always kind and smooth
and we laugh and we never fight
and all is all right
‘til ‘bout two in the dark night
then it’s always the same
it’s always the same
And I guess I’m to blame
‘cause it’s about that time
that she crashes and shatters
It’s always the same
She shatters,
just like dreams
just like hope
Just like fame.
She shatters.
And I guess I’m to blame
Country Songs
Hey Bartender (#1)
Hey bartender
No there’s nothing wrong
I’m just another song-writer without a song
So I just may have to sit here all night long
‘till I find the right words
that sound like they belong
it seems like all the good ones are gone
They’ve been taken
No great tunes left for the makin’
Oh why have my thoughts forsaken
Me.
So pour some more
Of that liquid inspiration
Maybe it’ll help to waken
Something witty and wise
Inside my mind
And if nothin’ comes
by the time you close
somehow I’ll find my way home
And try again tomorrow
Whenever finally I rise.
Hey Bartender (#2)
Hey bartender
Don’t be shy
Go ahead and stare
It don’t bother me
I hadta get used to it
‘Cause, you see,
these scars,
they ain’t going no where
Sure, I could tell you the story
But you wouldn’t believe
So pour me another,
pass the pretzels
and then I’ll leave,
I got company anyway
Waiting at home for me
my dear old friends
beer, mac n’ cheese
yea I’ve heard that before
that I’m too bright
to be stuck
in a dump
like this
night after night
and it does seem like
my brain is alright
but life has taken it’s toll
these scars are what’s left
from when they stole
my soul
well, if I stay here much longer
I’ll start looking for trouble
So I best get on home
to my good friends,
beer, mac n’ cheese
but first, pour me a double
and pass me them pretzels
please.
When The Laughing Stops
Remember how smart
We used to be
You n’ me
We didn’t even have to
Go to school
We already knew
how to break the rules
So we’d skip on down
To the river out back
Each with a six pack
And oh how we’d laugh
Remember how we’d laugh
At all them fools
still sittin’ in school
We laughed
Remember how smart
We used to be
You n’ me
At sixteen
We knew how to score
More than any team
Cigarettes, beer and girls
we laughed at those fools
Who sweated, so pathetic
on the courts and fields
when we were so cool
Remember us laughin’
‘till we couldn’t stop coughin’
We laughed
And remember how smart
We used to be
You n’ me
At twenty we knew plenty
More than the teachers,
parents or cops
We could’ve taught them alot
If only they’d listened
Instead of talk, talk, talk,
but instead
Remember how we laughed
At how stupid they were
Oh how we laughed
at all those folks,
we laughed alot
‘cause we knew
We were so damn smart
We laughed
well, I don’t know about you
but I don’t laugh anymore
seems like nothing is funny
it ain’t fun being poor
it ain’t fun having no job
and not fittin’ in
with the rest of the folks
who all seem to know
how to win
so while I sit
on the sidewalk
begging for dimes
I’m lucky if they miss
when they spit
when walking on by
and they laugh
oh how they laugh
I swear I’ll still hear them laughin’
when I’m deep down in my coffin
it’s ain’t no fun being poor
and I don’t feel so smart anymore.
And I don’t laugh much
anymore
You Will Survive
I remember
Wobbling home
With a runny nose
And a bloody knee
And my father tightly holding me
‘til my sobbing stopped
He wiped my tears and said
It’s ok.
It’s all right.
Pain reminds you
That you’re still alive
And you, my son,
you will survive
I was only a teen
When she left me
And the first time
That my heart cracked
my dad repeated to me that
it’s ok.
It’s all right.
Pain reminds you
That you’re still alive
and you, my son,
you will survive
years later,
I was in my prime
and I thought that I was so wise
but a business deal went terribly bad
I’d been lied to, stolen from
Oh, I’d been had
And these comforting words
Came over the phone
From my dad
It’s ok
It’s all right
Pain reminds you
That you’re still alive
And you, my son,
you will survive
Then the day came
I got the call
and I rushed to his side
with tear stained cheeks
that I could not hide
The doctor said “any breath
may be his last”
My father looked up
squeezed my hand
and said
“for me now,
there is no more pain
so it’s ok
It’s all right
And you, my son,
you will survive
Later that year
the day my boy turned three
he fell off the ladder
that I’d nailed to a tree
and as I held him close
Just him and me
I kissed his tiny, bloodied knee
And I said to him
With choked up throat
It’s ok
It’s all right
Pain reminds you
That you’re still alive
And you, my son,
You will survive.
it’s been a lot of fun hun
but it’s true, we’re done
I hope you can forgive
because baby
I need more love
Than you can give
you see, I mean
it’s just
not enough for me.
When you first caught my eye
I thought “what a hunk”
But sweetie there’s one place
Where I need
a little more chunk
And maybe
It’s just bad luck
But honey,
Your love’s just
not enough for me
Some say size don’t matter
But sweetheart something’s the matter
‘cause as a batter
You’re striking out
And I’m not one to sit and pout
So I’m going out
to look for something
A bit more stout
Come on baby,
Wipe those tears,
And put away your fears
it won’t take years
To find the woman of your dreams
It’s not as bad as it seems
There are plenty of girls
Who don’t care about size
And are looking for a nice guy
so please don't cry
I’m sorry that this is the way it has to be
But honey…
you're just not enough for me
3 Country songs We'd Love To Hear...
but probably never will!
Song #1 (sung by "Dolly Parton" type voice)
I saw you today
Walking down the street
The way you look is oh so sweet
but Honey, seeing you again
is so hard on…
Me
I can’t help myself
When I look at your picture,
Baby sweet baby
Old feelings start to rise
And it’s so hard on…
Me
I know it’s not right
And I shouldn’t be like this
But I can’t control it
Every time I think of you
It’s so very hard on…
Me
There’s nothing I can do
It won’t go away
Whenever I think of your sweet face
And the love we used to make
Baby, it’s still so hard on…
Me
Country Song We'd Love to hear (sung by a man)
To become a man
First he would beg,
Stomp his little feet,
And cry
Then he threatened
To run away and hide
He’d do everything he could
To get his own way
But I wouldn’t budge
And this is what I would say
“It’s not my job to be your friend,
It’s my job to help you
to become a man.”
“but mom, why can’t I?
Everyone else does”
He’d whine, persist
and try to get his own way.
then shout “you’re the meanest mother
In the world” and storm away
but it was the final “I hate you!”
when the door slammed
that hurt the most
Still, I held tight
and did what was right
And repeated this verse,
that many a times I'd rehearsed,
when tired and alone at night,
“It’s not my job to be your friend
It’s my job to help you
to become a man.”
Now I’m so very proud
of what my boy has become
a fine young man
who’s smart, kind and handsome
and today when he passed
to me his first child
he spoke these words
which were the sweetest
that I’d ever heard
he said, “mom,
you were the greatest parent to me
and I hope that I can be
half as good with him
as you were with me
and I pray that I can
be strong enough
to help my son grow
to become a man.”
Yes, we’ve been together
for some time
For quite awhile
I’ve called you mine
But now it’s time
To go our separate ways
It’s no surprise
You’ve seen it coming
For days and days
Please stop demanding
That I tell you what’s wrong
I can’t bear to see you standing
With your face in your hands
Can’t we just part
and still stay good friends
I’m afraid if I tell you the truth
You’ll hate me ‘till the end
Well ok so here it is
Don’t say you weren’t forewarned….
Baby, you’re a bore
When you talk,
during the day
I can’t stay awake,
It puts me right to sleep
And then at night
When I should be
Lost deep in dream
you snore, I’m awake
and it drives me insane
Sweetie you’re a snoring bore
A boring snore
And I can’t take it no more
I begged you
My secret to let me keep
and it's because I do care
that I didn't dare
tell you what’s wrong
because I knew it would hurt
So sweetie, I’m sorry
I was wishing
you'd stop insisting
But you’re a boring snore
A snoring bore
And I can’t take it no more
It’s true
We’re through
Honey we’re done
For the sake of my sanity
I have to face reality
and move on
And trust me,
it's true...
I’ll never date
Another snoring bore
Another boring snore
Like you
Country Song we'd love to hear #3
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"Sometimes I feel like a butterfly in a blender."
Love me enough to lie
Love me enough
To lie ‘cause
the truth
tastes
like dirt
and reality
just plain hurts
So tell me you love me
that all will be ok
and that you’ll never leave
that nothing could ever
tear you away
Tell me I’m the only one
and together we’ll dance
laugh and love
under far-away suns
And tell me that I finally found
after searching a lifetime,
in you
what could not be found anywhere.
That our love is real, strong and true
Tell me the fire in your gaze
smolders for me alone
and your fingertips ache
to make me groan
Please,
love me enough
to lie
Losing things
The first thing I remember losing was a tooth. But I didn't feel too bad 'bout losing that 'cause another one grew in its place. I was six years old when that happened.
The next thing I remember losing was my dog. And, well, I mean, I didn't exactly lose him. It’s not like I left him somewhere and couldn’t find him. One day, he was just gone. I was 10 years old. He was a great dog. When he’d see me coming, he’d jump high up into the air and bark, like he was glad to see me. He was the only person who was ever glad to see me. He’d bark, and bark. He barked a lot. But that was his way of talking. And he had a lot to say and we had a lot to talk about.
His name was Boner. Don’t ask me why he had that name ‘cause I don’t know. People used to ask me that all the time and I’d just shrug. I think my dad might have had something to do with it, the name, but I never asked him. I never talked to my dad much if I could help it.
So anyway, one day, I came home from school and Boner didn’t run out to meet me. I walked all around whistling and calling his name, but he never came. I never saw him again. Every day after school and on weekends, I’d walk and walk and walk and I’d call for him and ask everyone I met if they’d seen him. But nope. I never seen him again.
This went on until I was 12 and one day I overheard my parents arguing. They was always arguing about something. My dad was saying to my mother, “Margaret”, he always called her Margaret. I don’t know why. I guess ‘cause that was her name. Anyway, he was saying, “Margaret, this is ridiculous. He’s been looking for that dog for two years now. Enought is enough. We gotta tell him the damn dog ain’t coming back. You and I both know that old man Johnson poisoned him.” Old man Johnson used to live next to us and he used to complain all the time ‘bout Boner’s barking.
My mom said, “You let him be. He’ll stop looking when he’s good n’ ready. I’m not gonna break that boy’s heart by telling him his dog is dead.”
Well, my heart had already been broken for two years since Boner was gone and now that I knowed that old man Johnson poisoned him. In fact more than my heart was more than broken.
I’m not sure but I think that’s when I lost my innocence, or maybe I should say, it was stolen from me.
So anyway, back to my story. So one day after that I’m walking down the street and I happen to see old man Johnson’s cat. The cat comes right up to me and is purring and rubbing up against my leg. I say, “come here nice kitty” and pick it up.
At first the cat seems happy to see me, it's purring up against me, but then, as if it can read my mind or something it starts to squirm and trying to get away. But I don’t let it. I hold onto it real tight and I’m patting its little head and saying, “nice kitty”, and I don’t know why but suddenly I’m patting its head harder and harder and the cat is ‘meowing’ really loud, and it has really big eyes and it’s trying to claw at me to get away and is scratching at me, but I don't care, I just hold onto it tighter and tighter.
And, well, I’m not proud to say this, but I thought about doing some harm to that cat. I wanted old man Johnson to feel hurt and feel bad inside just like I did about Boner. I held that cat up and pulled its nose right up against my nose and stared deep into its eyes. It looked real scared. Then I thought, “this poor cat ain’t done nothing to me or to Boner. And if I kill it, then Jesus won’t let me into heaven, and I know that’s where Boner is, and then I’ll never see my dog ever again.” So I put the cat down onto the ground and it took off right quick like a lightening flash as if it knew how close it came to dying and was afraid I might change my mind.
OK, so let’s get back to the story about losing things. After losing my dog, the next thing I remember losing is my
voice. I got sick and I lost it. But it came back so I guess I really didn't lose it completely.
After my voice, the next thing I lost was my virginity. But out of respect to Jenny May, I won’t tell you about that. Let’s just say she was a lot older than me and she was big. I mean she was really, really BIG. And well, I can't rightly say I lost my virginity. It was more that she wanted it and took it, but anyway, of all the things I ever lost in my life, that was the most pleasant thing to lose.
I lost my license. But I didn't have it very long anyway so it didn't bother me much to lose it.
I had a job once. And I lost that mighty quick. But that’s not an interesting story and it was a long time ago so I’m not going to tell you about it.
I've heard people say that I've lost my marbles, they whisper about it when they think I can't hear, but it's not true. I still have them, well, most of them anyway. They're in a box under my bed along with my jackknife, and the bones of the mouse I found when I was eight, and my Dick Tracey decoder ring, and the seashells I got from the time I went to the beach and a bunch of other really neat things. So really, I didn't lose my marbles even though everyone thinks I did.
There was some fellows who once tried to explain to me that I'd lost my way and were trying to help me to find Jesus, but I didn't think that Jesus could ever be lost, so I didn't listen to them. I mean, how could Jesus, who is the son of God, ever be lost? I don't think Jesus was lost or that I'd lost my way.
Of course, I have lost my youth. But that's not my fault. And, you don't really lose that. It sort of slips away from you one day at a time until suddenly, before you know it, it's gone.
I lost my glasses but it don't matter 'cause, well, I haven't exactly lost my eyesight and my hearing, but I will say that I am losing them both. But I don't care to look at or listen to much anymore anyway.
I have lost my appetite, but there ain't much I can say about that. I'm just not hungry anymore. I do lose my temper once in awhile when people try to make me eat and I'm not hungry. I just throw the food back at them and tell them to leave me alone.
And, they tell me that I’ve lost my mind but I can’t rightly say for sure that I know ‘bout that since I don’t ever remember having one, or remember losing one. But I guess I believe them since so many people tell me the same thing. But if it is true that I have lost my mind, it’s really not such a bad thing. Sometimes I sit here and watch all the people go by and they’re always rushing and they’re always angry and I can’t understand what they’re rushing to or what they’re angry about. I guess if youve lost your mind, you don’t understand about stuff like rushing and being angry.
So, I just sit here and wait for Jesus to call me to him so I can see Boner again.
What I feel about her
(the break-up song)
You ask “what do I see in her?”
Honey, it’s not about what I see in her
It’s about what I feel about her
It’s when I gaze in her eyes
And a lava-flowing fire burns through my veins for her
It’s when she smiles at me
And nothing in the world matters but her
It’s when I’m in her arms
And I would die a thousand times for her
Honey, It’s not about what she’s got that you haven’t got
